Come on in...

When you enter someone’s home, one of the first things you do is take a look around and get a feel for the “coziness” of a home. Sometimes it just hits you like a brick wall, and you think ‘dang. This feels like a HOME’ sometimes you walk in and you feel the chill of anxiety, harshness, etc. typically you wouldn’t hang out in the latter home.

After figuring out the ‘feel’ of the home, you start to look at the stuff. Even the simplest home is going to have stuff. For example, I’m sitting on the purple couch in my living room that has 5 throw pillows a few blankets and coffee mug sitting on the table next to me. The couch itself is sitting on a rug. On the perimeter of the rug are 3 more chairs, a love seat, and our television stand/television. On the television stand we have a Wii console, a DVD player, cable box, Wii games, DVDs, etc. The television is mounted over the fireplace with a canvas photo on either side, speakers, and decorative books.

That’s a lot of stuff for a 10x15 space! That is not even my whole house!

We tend to collect STUFF. And I am not talking ‘hobby’ collecting; I am talking things that fill a home, which we deem necessary to have, to some extent. From pillows and blankets, to books and dishes. Cloth napkins to the clothes that we wear. We INVEST in these things.

$10 for a blanket
$20 for 2 decorative pillows
$15 dollars on this frame, $30 on that one.
$100 for a set of dishes with 4 place settings.
$10 for a pretty bowl, and $2 each for each piece fake fruit you put inside.
$200 for a set of chairs that go around the $150 table.
$400 bucks for the sofa.

You get such a wide array of things at varied prices that after purchase are carefully placed in their correct place in your home. The couch is placed in the living room, and the decorative pillows on top. The table, chairs and dishes all go into the formal dining area a placed specifically to their best place of display and utility. When things get broken, or worn out what do you do with them? You either try to fix them OR your throw them away, and get rid of it.

We do the same thing with events and situations in our lives. Things happen, and feelings either become elated or disappointed. Events happen, and people enter our lives, and friendships are forged and destroyed. Some of us put a welcome mat at the entrance to our hearts and lives, welcoming people in to see what all has happened in our lives to get us to the point where we are today. Some of us have a lock on the door that a select few have access too. And there are the ones of us who are bolted, gated, locked, and chained into our own hearts not allowing anyone, or anything access to who we really are.

Once you get into the door some someone’s heart, whether a friend, significant other, spouse you start to see the stuff; where they’ve invested their time, who they cherish most, and why. You see the things that are off to the side that haven’t been so well taken care of, whether it is a relationship, an area where emotions have been neglected etc.
Each of these things is found in different compartments of our heart, different layers. Some areas are neglected, while other are nurtured and well taken care of.

All of that just to say, what are you taking care of? Are those things in the right places with the right priorities? And what are you neglecting? Are their broken things hidden in the back that needs to be addressed? What are the things that you are choosing to invest wisely in the people that you spend the most time with? Are you choosing to invest in things that benefit you and bring you life?

Just a thought.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Years :)

Just Let ME Love You

Todd grinned. “I like you a lot”

“I like you a lot, too” [Christy]

“I like you more,” Todd said.

“No, I like you more.”

Todd leaned forward and with the warmest glow ever in his clear blue eyes, said, “I love you, Kilikina.”

Christy froze. She couldn’t make her lips part. She couldn’t push out the words. A single tear was all that escaped her heart and raced down her cheek.

Todd moved his chair over so that he was right next to Christy. He kept his hand in hers. With patient, gentle words he said, “You don’t have to respond, Christy. I don’t want you to feel pressured. Ever. In any way. Just let me love you, okay?” He leanaed over and kissed the tear where it clung to the edge of her jaw. “Just let me love you.”

- Excerpt from Robin Jones Gunn’s “As You Wish”

Lying in the hammock on a steep mountainside, cool breeze whistling all around me, I read this. When I finished this section I just began to cry. Just an unexplained outburst of tears ran down my face. Being self conscious I wiped my eyes and looked around, only to be reminded that I was surrounded by the sun, trees, and clouds. I laughed at myself and thought ‘what the heck?’ and just let the tears fall. I closed my eyes and began to hear the Father speak.

Just let Me love you.

As He spoke, the cool mountain breeze warmed gently and I felt as if two huge arms just embraced me. I just layed in the arms of my Daddy and wept.

Isaiah 40:11 “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart…”

As I’m processing His words in my head, I’m trying to figure out when I STOPPED letting Him love me. Or even when I LIMITED letting Him love me. The truth is tbat I can’t stop Him.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine she said “I love youuuuuuuu” and I said back sarcastically, “Just because you love me doesn’t mean I have to accept it.”

How true is that? How often to we reject the love of our Lord? We assume because things are not going our way that He doesn’t love us, or He doesn’t care for us. Which in our hearts we know that it is utterly false, but when we let our brains go for a ride, we lose sight of the truth.

All He wants is to love us, and for us to love Him in return. Even the times we don’t want to love Him, or we are mad at Him, He STILL LOVES US. And there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it, but when we “Just let [Him] love [us]” how much better is our life? How much more abundant and obvious are His plans for us.

He carries us close to His heart. Where we can lay and breathe in the things He has for us.

With All My Heart,

Jeremiah 29:11-14

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD

All this, just to end up here.

Lately, I've been finding myself staring down at my odometer on Trip B, where I keep track of the miles travelled each time I fill up my tank.

I fill up my tank and reset "Trip B" to zero and go from there.

Then I'll look down again, and see that I've gone 247 miles just to end up back at the gas station to start the process all over again. Or I'll look down and see I've travelled 92.6 miles just to end up in my driveway after a workout.

How many times do we do this in life? How many times do we go to church and fill ourselves up with the Word, and His love, just to travel 3 days - 7 days - 10 days - a month - before we end up back in His presence to fill up again, to fill ourselves to the point of overflowing, from overflowing to full, and from full to empty again.

What happens in those days? Those miles? What happens at the destinations where the car takes us? What happens because of the overflow of what is happening in our hearts?

Just a thought...

what are you doing with the miles in between?

100 Days

My sister got engaged on January 11th, I got with a trainer on January 12, and told her I wanted to lose weight for Jenna's wedding. She gave me great advice, encouraging words, and a basic workout to get started.

On March 4, 2010 I just happened to go to the gym with my dad, then I went the next day, and the next... I thought to myself 'this feels REALLY good!'. After 4 days in a row at the gym I had an epiphany.

"I HAVE the time to be at the gym probably 95% of the time. Let's do this."

So I did!

100 days in a row.

From March 4 till June 11 (my sister's wedding day) I was in the gym everyday.

I learned a lot about myself, I learned to love myself more and more, I learned that my friends are even more awesome than I thought. So many of you guys encouraged me through this process, I've felt incredibly loved and encouraged!

Day 101 I took a break.

Day 102 I was right back in the gym!

To date (June 20, 2010) I have:

LOST: 31 pounds!

GAINED: 14 pounds of muscle!

LOST: 26.25 inches!

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME THROUGH THIS PROCESS!

This has been, and will continue to be an awesome journey!

Don't stop believing! :)

a kiss.

the sweetest kiss ever.

seriously.

i didn't even recieve it.

i gave it.

a gentle hand grasped and lifted my chin and pulled me to his face. i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply the scent of a sweet baby boy as i kissed him on the nose. as i started to pull away he grasped my chin again as if he was asking for another one.

my heart melted.

i pulled away and baby sam just looked at me with content in his eyes.

i thought and dwelled on this sweet moment and God spoke to me.

He told me that it's what He does everyday. but everyday i don't always follow the gentle grasp of His hand on my chin, i don't let Him pull my eyes up.

everyday His hand takes hold of my chin in order to raise my head, my eyes, my heart, and my spirit so that i can look into His face and love Him. Look Him in the eyes and kiss His nose.

today i woke up to a hand on my chin and chose to lift my eyes, my heart, and my soul and look in the the eyes of my Savior, my Lover, my Joy, my Song, my Healer, my Friend, my God, and i chose to Love Him with my eyes on Him.

when i choose to love Him, and walk in His love and His direction he looks at me with content. His love radiates.

all this.

from a kiss.

wow.

earlier I posted in twitter

"My heart is full. overwhelmed. loved. wanting. blessed. amazed. i cant even begin to explain. my God is good, gracious, & enamored with ME!!"

it is so incredibly true. I just wish there was a way that I could make everyone feel this... I want the overflow of my heart, joy, and emotions to splatter all over the people around me... I want people to know the love of the Father, I want people to feel His hand stirring within their lives and souls, I want Him to radiate through me like no one else's business... I want so much...

yet He wants it even more.