Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Disease I Don't Mind Having

I was hanging out with some of my girlfriends about this time last week. We were making a quick Walmart run to pick up some good, girly junk food... you know, queso and chips, salsa, sugar cookies, and hot cocoa.

With it being the month of December, our good friends, the Salvation Army ringers are outside of Targets and Walmarts across the nation. I love this time of year and getting to give, even just spare change.

So whilst I was on this mission for junk food I had some spare change in my pocket, probably about 50 cents, I very happily placed it in the bucket, and receieved the verbal thanks of the Salvation Army ringer. I proceeded inside to get my items. When I payed, I used a 20 dollar bill and recieved 6 dollars and 57 cents in change.

As I exited Walmart with my goodies in hand, I walked through a small series of two automatice doors (You know... the one's that make you feel like a Jedi :) ) and placed the 57 cents that I had just recieved into the little red bucket... The ringer standing there seemed flabbergasted (i LOVE that word!) that I would donate TWICE the small amount of change in my in my pockets. "Merry Christmas! You must have some sort of disease giving TWO times in the same night... you are crazy!"

It struck me as odd that giving about a dollar and seven cents in change would be a disease orcrazy. What kind of world do we live in that $1.07 is considered an extravagant gift or donation?!

If the world would realize that God gave the most extravagant gift humanly imaginable, HisSON. A human life... What kind of ooh-ing and awing does a gift like that deserve?

One of my prayers through my whole life has been that I would have a lot of money... Typical american, right? Lots of money, not for myself, but to bless others. To send people to Africa, Australia, Mexico, and even just buying them lunch!

I pray that my $1.07 changes that S.A. Ringer's life... maybe not with the direct benefit of having that money in his pocket, but knowing that some random girl walked in and out of Walmart and was willing to give, both coming and going.

If giving is a disease, its one I don't mind having.





Thursday, December 10, 2009

Happily Ever After

Happily Ever After

Breathe…breathe. She thought as her eyes caught the shadow that had stepped into the small dark room. She grabbed the old wooden barstool in order to make sure her knees would not give out.

His rich brown eyes swept the room and barely met her gaze.

She’s the one.

He thought, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. Taking a step forward he did his best to remain cool and non-chalant.

What little light was available shattered off of old liquor bottles and champagne glasses.

She is THE one.

Just one more time to make sure he believed himself. Crossing the room now with great strides he knew his mission and he would not fail.

She tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear as she silently began to assess what was happening. Having never seen this look of determination on his face she was unsure of what to think.

Here he was.

Here she was.

Here they were.

Naturally, Sarah leaned forward to kiss her loving beau of one year, six months, five days, twelve hours, forty three minutes and nineteen seconds. But Michael, ever so gently, refused.

Taking her petite hands in his, followed by a deep, shaky breath from them both, he began to speak;

“Sarah, do you love me?”

“Yes,” she breathed, still unsure of what was going on.

His heart fluttered as he continued, silently praying and patting the small box in his pants pocket.

He continued, “I love you, too. More than you could ever imagine. Since the day I met you, four years ago, I knew you were the love of my life. The day you first held my hand, I knew I would spend the rest of our eternity together.”

Silently bending down onto one knee he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a tiny velvet cover ring box. Slowly he opened it and inside was a beautiful diamond ring.

Closing her eyes, finally she understood. Taking a deep breath and letting the butterflies inside of her take over, she opened her eyes and looked into his.

“Sarah Connor Parker, will you make me the happiest man in the world, by spending eternity with me, and becoming my wife?”

He relaxed slightly as the last word, ‘wife’, came out of his mouth.

She let the magic of the moment overwhelm her. A tear slid down her cheek as she took his face between her hands, bent over, and whispered, “yes” into his ear.

He came up to his feet again, and gave her this kiss he had denied her just two minutes earlier. This kiss was filled with so much love and tenderness, the world could have ended for both of them, right then and there.

Taking her hand he slipped the thin silver band onto her finger, turning the jewel upwards and kissing it, as a seal of approval. Leaning into her again he said, “I have another surprise for you!”

Bewildered she looked at him and with a quick “okay!” out of her mouth, he grabbed her hand and whisked her out of the dark room into the streetlight of 6th and Oak.

The snow on the ground was mushy and wet as they trudged through it in their winter boots. Fingers intertwined, Michael breather more easily leaving the old pub than he did going in, and the rock he could now feel on her finger was the entire reason why.

Sarah slowed down, ever so slightly. She turned and looked into the face and eyes of the man she had just agreed to marry, knowing it was the right decision. Stopping, she turned to face her brand new fiancé and kissed him again.

“Where are you taking me?” she badgered him.

“It’s a secret, love,” he laughed, “if I told you what it was, where would the fun be?”

“Fine,” she muttered silently under her breath. Though I don’t think anything could top what just happened, she thought airily.

“A few more steps darling!”

They stopped in front of her old church cathedral. The only reason she recognized it in the dark was because of the long tendrils of vines wrapping around the old bricks of the terrace.

Stepping in the large doors she smelled the distant scent of peppermint. It was a scent that triggered a memory from many years ago; a memory of her parents, whom she had not seen in ten years.

Many years had been spent searching for them after they had been lost at sea. After two years had passed both parties thought the other was dead. Though neither party ever quit searching.

Michael stopped her once more just inside the doorway of the church.

“When this whole process began, I wished I could ask your father’s permission to take your hand in marriage, and try to do this the old fashioned way. So I started my own search for your parents. I wanted so badly for you to have your father walk you down the aisle on our s pecial day, so I looked even harder.”

Her breathing pace had increased again, again, not sure what was about to happen.

He continued, “I found him. I found them,

Not sure what to say or feel or think, she merely stared at him blankly.

“Mr. and Mrs. Parker?” he called. “Would you please come out here?”

Around the corner came a man and woman in there late fifties, smelling of peppermint. As she looked at the man, she saw her eyes. As she looked at the woman, she saw her smile. It really was them. She really would get a father, her father, to walk her down the aisle. To send her off to live and love with the man who had found them, who had found her, to be together forever.

Now they could live Happily Ever After.

© JillianHamp 2009

Papa

Papa

Five years have passed since we lost Papa Jack;

Salt & pepper hair on his worn and weathered face,

Shedding tears as he left this world for a better place.

With years of laughter, joy, and pain

Gathered round to see him, no longer swain.

A ferocious battle with an unyielding foe

Left us as shattered, empty, and full of woe.

Melanoma fought; but Papa fought harder.

The stability in our family, heroic crusader,

Leaving a legacy of strength and grace,

Remembering his love when remembering his embrace.

One thing I wish? That he would come back.


©JillianHamp 2009

Love of a Lifetime

Years had escaped since we first met.

Sixty years gone and sixty more coming

Since our hearts had intertwined.

Of spending my life with her

My One True love, my forever

My joy and my song

Asking forever for my hand,

Accepting a proposal to last forever.

My eyes sparkled, dancing with light

Her eyes shown bright like diamonds

‘Yes!’ I yelled emphatically,

She said yes to forever

Forever and ever, until the end.

White flowers decorate our aisle;

Wedding bells sang gloriously

Sun shone brightly

and now wrinkles multiply with age,

Wrinkles that equal memories.

My Darling, My forever Lover

My Angel, Mi amor.

©JillianHamp 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Epiphany | My Match

So a few weeks ago I had this epiphany... and, to me it was really revelatory and awesome.

I was driving down the road praying for my future spouse, praying for his characteristics, his quirks, his loves, his passions. Praying qualities for him that I see from other men in my life. I remember thinking, 'God, I really wish I could just marry this one particular guy' and the second I thought that I had this flash, this epiphany of why I CAN'T marry him.

God has a call on my life that is super specific to me and my hearts desires. and looking at this guy, God has a call on his life that is specific to him, and his hearts desires. That call, those desires, are SO different from each other, that we could never be the people we were called to be if we decided to spend forever together. We didn't match.

So now, I find myself praying for my match, for my partner, for my alignment with what has been ordained for my destiny.

And it makes me really excited.

Now, being 21 years old, I am in no hurry to run off and get married, but I've been around my fair share of wedding, boyfriend/girlfriends this year that it definitely keeps the embers burning.

I'm watching my baby sister fall in love... I've photographed many weddings, attended weddings as an onlooker, and still look forward to finding my match



Friday, September 4, 2009

He knows the plans he has for ME!!

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

I ALWAYS thought this verse was lame. I mean, it cool, but everyone was using it, and it seemed so cliche to me... it was used way too much. I have never been able to really claim this verse, and believe it for myself.

Until today.

I've got some really cool opportunities coming to me in my life right now. I'm involved in this awesome cause called Stop Child Trafficking Now. (sctnow.org) I've been asked to be a feature artist for an event that will raise funds in order to save the lives of thousands of women and children worldwide. The feature piece is going to be amazing, and I can't wait to tell you more about it.

I'm also looking at some awesome options for school. I'm looking at going to YWAM. And there is a chance that I can do both, together.

As I have researched my education options, it seems like everything from this end has pretty much fallen into place.

So as I am researching, I hear my self thinking "'I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you, and not to harm you.'"

Now it clicks.

I get it now.

I mean
REALLY
get it.

I can claim it as my own. It holds meaning, and a gigantic promise that He has made to me.

I'm so excited about life.
SO EXCITED!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What'd He do now?

Okay, so, I know its been a while since I've posted here, I've been posting on my photography website, jillianhamp.com, but this post isn't as professional as I would like to keep that space... So here I am now! 
_________________________________________________________________
You know you have those friends in life that just have that "personality"... The one who is always making dumb jokes or doing stupid stunts? Then later when you're hanging out with other people and you start to say, "Oh, did you hear what Bobby Joe did yesterday?" and your friends all roll their eyes and say "Oh no! What'd he do now?" 

Well, I've had several "what'd He do now" experiences in the last few weeks!

My brand new (to me) car had been giving me some issues with the A/C, and we all know that a Texas Summer, means that something like the A/C needs to get fixed A.S.A.P!! So I took it to our family garage down the street, in my mind I'm thinking, 'eh, at the most it will only be a few hundred dollars, 4 -- 5 hundred tops. I can do that... not much else but I can get it taken care of'. Well, boy was I wrong...

 I took the car in thinking I would have the freon charged and that it would be fixed, no problemo! Well, they looked it over and told me that they believed it was an electrical problem traced back to the computer, but our garage did not do work on Subarus... crap... so we take it to the local Subaru dealership, they look "Edward" over... (haha, I'll tell that story in a minute...) and give me a call, they tell me that they found there was no coolant in my radiator, so the cars A/C would turn off to keep the radiator and the entire car from overheating... 

I'm thinking "okay, Awesome! just put some coolant in it and we'll call it fixed!"

 They continue to tell me that it is "in my best interest" to let them tear apart my *brand new* engine to make sure there was no damage to the radiator, gaskets, and a couple other parts... I ask how much that will cost and they tell me, $800-900 just for the tear down, that didn't include if they happened to find something wrong... So I don't authorize the work, and I call a mechanic close to our family and ask his advice for my situation... He gives it to me and tells me they're trustworthy, and I should probably listen to what they're saying... I ask what a radiator will cost since they tell me I may need a new one of those too... 

He tells me... and I start to bawl. All together would have cost me $1,500 to get it fixed up. Pardon my 'language' but... eff... I don't have that kind of money... who does?!

 I ask my parents what they thought I should do. 

I end up picking up my car from the dealership and they tell me they went ahead and put some coolant in the radiator, but they don't know if that will help my problem... I pay my $100 for the diagnostics they ran get in my car and leave...

I step into my car not expecting my A/C to work longer than 5 minutes... that's all it ever did for me before... I hit minute 6 of the 30 I have to get home and I'm giddy... minute seven.... minute eight... minute nine... minute ten... OH MY GOSH! MY A/C  IS WORKING!!! All the way home, THIRTY TWO MINUTES! wow... 

The whole way home I'm thinking 'wow! My God is so Good! He has taken care of me! He has provided for me! Look what He did this time!



*** "Edward" --- Jenna called my car Edward after I got home from the A/C making me so cold I had to turn in pretty much off... Edward like the vampire... Edward Cullen from Twilight... because his skin is like Ice... yeah...***

Thursday, January 22, 2009

"Once upon a time..."


(This is a story I'm working on, its not finished, but I thought I'd throw it out there :) enjoy!)


It was cold today, and my layers of shirts, a sweater, a jacket and a scarf were evidence to that. Despite the cool breeze I could feel penetrating my jeans, all I could think about was when I would get to see and talk to him.
Three days earlier we had talked on the phone, and he made mention to wanting to catch up on where each of our lives had ventured to since the last time we had talked, and I was more than looking forward to when that time would roll around. My heart raced when he mentioned this weekend.
I let my mind wander the possibilities of what this small encounter could entail! Maybe coffee? Or lunch? Oh, both sounded very nice! (For more reasons than food or a warm beverage.)
While my mind wandered I heard him mention church this weekend that he and several of my other friends would be attending. We would find some alone time in there to catch up.
I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was a little disappointed in the location that he chose, but nonetheless, he would be there. And he was looking forward to seeing me.
Fast forward three days, and we are back to the many layers of clothing attempting to protect me from the brutality of the freezing cold breeze whipping around my group of friends in the auditorium at church. I was in a slight rush since I was trying to escape the throngs of people all around in order to get back to my paying job upstairs.
I lollygagged to give him a chance to find me in the crowd. I did not think that it was working, and then I felt two arms wrap around my shoulders and give me a squeeze. When I turned my head I expected to see one of my girlfriends who I hadn’t yet talked to. So I’m sure that you can imagine my shock when I turned and saw his face.
My face didn’t really have time to cooperate with what was heart started to feel, and that is probably a good thing. When I looked into his eyes I felt giant butterflies well up inside of my stomach. I knew I had to play it cool or he would think I was a weirdo. His, more than obvious, sign of affection was not typical for his personality. He was, and still is, a high-five, awkward-side-hug-giving friend. Not a sneak-up-behind-you and give-you-a-warm-embrace kind of guy.
My mind began to swirl with questions. Did that really just happen? Does he like me? Is he just in a really good mood? What was he thinking when he did that?
And while the questions continued to fill my mind, I thought to myself, “Whatever it was, whatever it may mean to him, I know that in the aspect of friendship, he enjoys me, and maybe one day I will mean more to him than that.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Baby Steps.


I'm really excited! I took my first piano lesson EVER on Monday, January 19 2009. I'm 20.5 years old and am just now taking baby steps to do something I love, or should I say, long to love. 
One of my loves in life is to use my hands. I used my hands to take photos, I use them to write and type and love and be loved. And now I get to use them to make beautiful music. While I would more than love the 1 in 1,000,000 chance that I could be a prodigy and just sit down at the piano keys and just know how to play, and not just know, but feel, and be able to to play a beautiful lullaby, or sit down and write a symphony detailing the story of two lovers, I can tell you now that that didn't happen. 
I've sat down and "tickled the ivories" for years, but it was more like poking. There was no beautiful melody leaking from my hands onto the keys, it was plinking out a tuneless melody, and that is the only thing it would ever be, until I took the initiative to learn it properly. 
My head always said, "You're too old to start taking piano lessons now, why bother?" and for a while I let myself believe that, all the while plinking a melody that made no sense. I thought about it and prayed about it and heard the Lord say, "Baby Steps." In an instance I knew He was right. (isn't He always). Baby steps, one foot in front of the other, one lesson at a time, one week at a time, and countless hours of practice, but a baby doesn't always stay a baby, with time, they grow. And baby steps become toddlers steps, that become kid steps, that become preteen steps, that become teenage steps, that become adult steps. 
No matter what you do, you almost always start with baby steps. I'm looking forward to the journey, the music, and the love that I know these steps will bring me. 



peace to you
jillian

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hi

Hi, and welcome to my blog! I'm new to the world of blogging, but I look forward to sharing some photos and prose with you, as well as some updates of day to day frenzy's that go on!! Until next time!